Aussie Computer Terms & Meanings

[BadDog]

Log On - Make The Barbie Hotter
Log Off - Don’t Add Any More Wood
Monitor - Keep An Eye On The Barbie
Download - Get The Wood Off The Ute’
Floppy Disc - What You Get By Lifting Too Much Wood
Window - What You Shut When Its Cold
Screen - What You Shut In The Mozzie Season
Byte - What Mozzies Do
Bit - What Mozzies Did
Mega-byte - What Darwin Mozzies Do
Chip - A Bar Snack
Micro-chip - What’s Left In The Bag When The Chips Have Gone
Modem - What You Did To The Lawns
Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix’s Wife
Laptop - Where The Cat Sleeps
Software - Plastic Cutlery For The Barbie
Hardware - Real Cutlery From K-mart
Mouse - What Eats The Grain In The Shed
Mainframe - What Holds The Shed Up
Web - What Spiders Make
Web-site - The Shed Or Underneath The Veranda
Cursor - The Bloke In The Pub Whose Always Swearing
Search-engine - What You Do When The Ute Won’t Start
Upgrade - A Steep Hill
Server - The Person At The Pub Who Brings Out The Food
Mail-server - The Bloke At The Pub Who Brings Out The Food
User - The Neighbour Who Keeps Borrowing Things
Network - When You Have To Repair The Fishing Net
Internet - A Complicated Fishnet Repair Method
Netscape - When The Fish Get Away From The Net
Online - When The Laundry’s Hung Out
Off-line - When The Pegs Don’t Hold The Laundry Up

[jessevede]

How funny!! I understood all of them except the ones about the Barbie... until I realized that it meant Bar-B-Q and not the doll.